


sorry for not making you my centerfold

by allisonattheorpheum



Series: the evermore collection [5]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, F/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Swearing, The Boys Are Alive, also will never get tired of julie being a butterfly kind of gal, and also 'jules', i will never get tired of luke calling julie 'boss', luke is a sad boy, rated t for teen because there is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:21:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28928712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allisonattheorpheum/pseuds/allisonattheorpheum
Summary: “i wouldn’t be where i am today if i hadn’t been a part of julie and the phantoms. alex and reggie, you supported me in ways no one else could, thank you for that. and…” she had trailed off, cleared her throat. “and thank you to luke patterson. i never understood what people meant about living and breathing music until i met you. you showed me how to love, and i’ll hold that with me always. thank you.”the applause for julie had been incredible, a standing ovation for this woman on the cusp of true stardom. luke had looked up as she left the stage, saw the butterflies trailing up her left arm, had remembered how he’d held her hand as the ink was placed under her skin.(or how the story of julie and luke ended, and how it begins again)
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Series: the evermore collection [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2097033
Comments: 18
Kudos: 62





	sorry for not making you my centerfold

**Author's Note:**

> title, section titles, inspiration, and one line towards the very end from “coney island (feat. the national)” by taylor swift.  
> part of my _evermore_ collection.
> 
> thank you, [lauren](https://molina-patterson.tumblr.com/), for your thoughts and for making sure i only wrote luke instead of alex once!

i. **wondering** **where did my baby go**

luke didn’t know how he had ended up alone on a bench in the middle of the santa cruz boardwalk. actually, that was a lie. he’d walked out of los feliz high, gotten into the car that had brought him there from the airport, and told the driver to “just go. north, east, i don’t care.” it’d been the middle of the night when he finally told the driver to stop. he’d gotten a hotel, slept until three in the afternoon, and then came to this very bench. he hadn’t even changed out of his suit, now wrinkled beyond belief.

he’d been sitting for a couple of hours. he was pretty sure a few people had tried to stop and get his autograph, but the misery radiating off of him must have scared them away. he’d probably get bad press for it but, well, more fuel for the fire. the sun was setting, the lights of the boardwalk reaching their full potential as the day turned into night. he didn’t want to keep his eyes open - the colors and the continuous stream of people and the dizzying spin of the carousel in the distance too much for him to deal with (his thoughts were dizzy enough on their own). 

the band had been invited back to los feliz to be awarded some kind of ensemble alumni thing, for fulfilling their potential and exemplifying the school’s mission. luke hadn’t even wanted to go -- los feliz had brought him to julie; the band that existed now wasn’t even close to what it had been with her. alex and reggie had eventually talked him into it, so they flew across the country and put on their best clothes.

he’d taken a separate car and, on the way to the school, his phone had buzzed: alex. luke had answered, hung up again when he had heard his drummer say, “she’s here, too.” julie molina, his star, his mic partner, his everything. well, his _used to be_. he should have known she would be there; she had always been more worthy than him.

and now here he was, on an uncomfortable bench, wondering how he could have ever been so stupid as to let her walk out of his life.

*

when they’d been presented with their award, luke didn’t look anywhere but the back of the auditorium. with his eyes fixed on the doors leading out, he’d recited the usual acceptance speech blather.

“we just want to thank all of the teachers we had here, especially mrs. harrison, for believing in us and for pushing us to be our best. thanks to our families and our sunset curve team back in new york. this is a big honor for us. thank you.”

as he had walked towards the side of the stage, blinders still on, he’d heard alex over the speakers: “and to julie molina, working with you made us better musicians and better people, so thank you and congrats on your ep!” just the sound of her name had made luke’s hands shake.

later in the night, julie had taken the stage, getting the soloist version of their same honor. luke had kept his eyes cast downward, counted the bubbles in his sparkling water. her voice had been clear, melodic, and it had cracked his heart in half.

“i wouldn’t be where i am today if i hadn’t been a part of julie and the phantoms. alex and reggie, you supported me in ways no one else could, thank you for that. and…” she had trailed off, cleared her throat. “and thank you to luke patterson. i never understood what people meant about living and breathing music until i met you. you showed me how to love, and i’ll hold that with me always. thank you.”

the applause for julie had been incredible, a standing ovation for this woman on the cusp of true stardom. luke had looked up as she left the stage, saw the butterflies trailing up her left arm, had remembered how he’d held her hand as the ink was placed under her skin.

“i fucked up, dude,” he had said, to no one in particular. every head at the table had turned towards him, but only reggie had answered. “yeah, man, you sure did.”

*

the last time luke had been at the boardwalk, he was with julie. the band had been in the midst of their first up-the-coast tour and they’d had some time before they needed to load in at the venue that night. alex and reggie went their separate ways, leaving luke and julie on their own. she had been wearing one of his vintage band tees, cuffed jeans, her hair pulled back into a wild ponytail. luke hadn’t been able to stop looking at her, the way his shirt had looked, too big and hanging off one of her shoulders.

as they had explored, their hands had stayed together, his calloused fingertips resting on the top of her knuckles, her softer, more delicate ones on his. the sun had been hot on their backs, and luke remembered how julie had been in front of him, pulling him along towards the arcade, beads of sweat shining on the back of her neck like crystals.

“hurry up, luke,” she had said, expertly weaving her way around tourists and locals alike. “i want you to win me something!”

luke had quickened his steps to reach her side, had let go of her hand and picked her up, spun around so her ponytail danced. julie had laughed, loud and without restraint; her laugh had always been luke’s favorite song. the memory plays in his head now like a movie scene, all lens flares and slow motion, some breezy pop love song playing as he puts julie down, kisses her, her lips cotton candy sweet.

the dark haze of the arcade had been empty compared to the rest of the boardwalk, the stale recirculated air cool on their skin. julie had dragged luke to the counter where all the prizes were lined up, waiting to be take home. she’d pointed at an oversized, gaudy ring, more costume jewelry than anything, and said, “that. get me that.”

luke had laughed, had loved the way julie always knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to ask for it. “whatever you want, boss.”

luke had been on his second round of skee-ball when they got called back to the car, only had enough tickets for some candy and a temporary tattoo, a glittery blue butterfly that julie put on as soon as they had gotten back to the venue. “maybe i’ll get this for real someday,” she had said. luke had looked at the art on her arm, the gap in her teeth front and center as she smiled, had said, “i’ll be right there with you, jules.”

he’d been there, hadn’t dreamed of being anywhere else, and now he was gone. fickle thing, time. 

*

luke stood up, his legs protesting the movement. the arcade was further down the boardwalk, past the carousel, past a haunted castle and a roller coaster that filled his ears with the sound of carts clattering against the wooden frame and riders screaming like they’d never come back to earth. unlike when he’d been here with julie before, the arcade was full, bodies dancing around each other, the air thick with sweat and caramel corn. 

he exchanged cash for tokens, walked over to the skee-ball lanes. as he reached down to pick up the first ball, his eyes caught on the scar on his hand, between the knuckles of his index and middle finger, the skin puckered and pink. it’d been two months but he remembered the accident like it was yesterday, the way he was thrown forward, seat belt cutting into his neck. the lights of the car in front of him were the brightest things he’d ever seen and, when they’d turned off, all he could see in the afterglow was julie, walking out of their hotel room.

he rolled ball after ball up the lane, watched the tickets pile up on the sticky floor. he didn’t know how long he’d been playing, but eventually his arm was sore and he ran out of tokens. he took his pile of tickets to the prize counter and watched as the less-than-enthusiastic worker counted them out, searched the display case of trinkets for the ring that julie had wanted so long ago. it was still there, fake purple gem shining under the fluorescent lights. 

“i'll take that, thanks,” he said, pointing at the ring. the attendant pulled it out, set it on the dirty glass countertop. luke picked it up and held it in his palm, heard julie’s laugh in his mind like the echo of every mistake he ever made, reminding him of how badly he’d screwed up. he turned to leave and the guy called after him, “you still have tickets left.” luke waved him off and walked out of the building, searching for the nearest exit.

luke got back to los feliz in the middle of the night, finally took off his suit, threw himself into bed and tried to sleep. he’d called a car and rested his head against the window for most of the long ride back, hand curled around the arcade ring so tightly it left impressions. he watched the sun come up through the space between the heavy curtains, shivered from the air conditioning but didn’t move to turn it off.

reggie knocked on the door at eight, and then again at eight-thirty, when luke finally got out of bed and let him and alex in.

“dude, where have you been?” reggie asked, handing luke a paper cup of lukewarm coffee. it was bitter on his tongue.

“went up to santa cruz,” he said, voice hoarse and hesitant. “just wanted to get away. think, ya know?”

alex nodded, sat on the end of the bed. “and did you come to any particular conclusions?”

luke took a sip, grimaced. “i have to try to make things right. i hurt all of you and i lost the love of my life and i can’t just not _try_. don’t get me wrong, sunset curve is legit but, god, it’s nothing like when julie was on stage with us.”

reggie nodded in agreement. “she’s magic, luke. you know we’re here for you whatever happens, man.”

“it would be nice to have someone who’s actually good at singing back with us,” alex said, smirking. luke swatted a hand at him but he dodged out of the way. “seriously, whatever you need, we’ll help.”

luke held out his hand. “let me use your phone.” 

ii. **when the sun goes down**

julie thought more than once about walking away as she stood at the edge of the woods behind her old high school. her phone had rung early that morning, her contact image for alex showing up on the screen. she’d answered; she and alex had maintained a friendship since she left the band, they’d catch up on gossip, make sure they were handling things okay. the voice on the other end hadn’t been alex, though.

“please don’t hang up,” luke had said. he’d sounded exhausted, broken, but she’d know his voice anywhere.

“luke? are you okay? where’s alex?” she had asked.

“i made him give me his phone ‘cause i know you wouldn’t answer if i called from mine.”

“what do you want?” she hadn’t meant for it to sound so biting.

“i messed up, jules,” he’d said. “i hurt you and i didn’t say thank you in my speech and i threw away what we built together and i miss you so much.” she had thought he was crying and her own chest tightened.

she hadn’t answered right away. he was saying things she had waited a year to hear and her brain had screamed at her that it was too late but her heart had decided otherwise.

“i miss you, too,” she had admitted.

“i get it if you don’t want to, but.. ” luke had trailed off, cleared his throat. “will you meet me tonight? at our spot?”

julie had sighed, tapped her nails against the back of her phone as she considered it. “just to talk, luke,” she’d decided on.

so she made her way back to los feliz high school, after thinking that maybe the ceremony last night would be the last time she would ever be on the property. the spot that luke meant had been theirs once the band had formed, had been there to escape to when they needed a minute to write or talk or sneak a kiss in between the trees. three years since graduation and she still knew the exact path that would take her there. 

she thought about leaving, checked the time on her phone, saw a message from someone on her team about merch for her upcoming tour. she could have walked away, gone back to the comfort of the solo career she had made for herself in the last year. but still, as the sun set, she waited.

*

the end of julie and the phantoms, the end of _julie and luke_ , had happened quickly. they had been laying in bed, at some hotel in chicago, and luke’s fingers had been lazily dancing up and down julie’s arms, careful not to touch the five butterflies she had gotten tattooed the day before. she hadn’t planned on saying it, not at all, but luke had said something about trying a new riff at the end of one song or another, had asked, “wouldn’t that sound sick, jules?” and that was all it had taken to bring on the avalanche.

“luke,” she had said, sitting up and moving so he couldn’t touch her. “when was the last time you ever told me how _sick_ one of my changes was? do you even notice?”

luke had laughed it off and julie’s chest had tightened at the sound. “i’m serious,” she’d said. “all you can think about lately is yourself.”

“what are you talking about?” luke had asked. he’d stood up, started pacing by the room’s window.

“i’m talking about how you can’t even focus on what the people around you are doing on stage because you’re too worried about yourself. it’s like you don’t even see us anymore. you’re so focused on having better solos and riffs and a better voice than some kid we went to school with. you need to move on.”

julie had stood up, too, had ran her fingers through her curls and lifted them off of her neck. luke had watched her, his eyes cloudy with something, anger or hesitation to admit that she was right.

“julie, bobby _took_ my fucking song. i’m supposed to just move on from that?”

julie had scoffed, crossed her arms over her chest. “i know it sucks, luke, trust me. i’ve told you that ever since he released it. but you wrote that when you were fifteen, before _our_ band, before _our_ songs. we’re making great music together. if you want to actually do something about it, i’ll support you, but i can’t stand all of this pettiness and showing off.”

“you’re right, our music is amazing, jules, but if you loved me -- ”

julie had seen red at his words.

“ _if_ i loved you, luke? i do love you, i love you and i love our band, but you have made it all about you, the luke patterson show, and you have three other musicians with you on that stage every night, and you haven’t been doing anything to appreciate us. and, besides, last time i checked, all bobby has is a single. we have a tour, we have an album, and i _thought_ we had each other.”

“we do, julie, it’s just… ” he had trailed off, had sat down on the bed again and buried his head in his hands. 

“i can’t do this anymore, luke. i can’t come second as your bandmate and i’m sure as hell not going to come second as your girlfriend. i can’t keep waiting around until you’re done making everything about you.”

luke had turned to look at her, his eyes red and shiny. “if you want to leave me, i get that. but you can’t give up on your music… what about alex and reggie? you’re just going to screw them over because of me?”

“i’ve already talked to them,” she had said. “they understand where i’m coming from and they gave me their support if i want to leave. i’ll play tonight and then you three can figure out what you want to do over the off days.”

she’d picked up her jacket from where it was draped over a chair and shrugged into it. she had turned to look at luke again, one hand on the door handle. “and this isn’t me giving up on music, luke. this is me doing everything i have to so that i can still make my dreams come true.”

julie had made it only a few steps down the hallway before the tears came, sobs that had forced her to slide down the wall, clutch her chest in an attempt to steady herself. she’d pulled her phone out of her pocket and blindingly found the contact she’d needed.

“flynn?” her voice had been broken, barely audible above her gasping breaths and sniffling. “i’m coming home.”

*

it was almost completely dark when julie saw luke walking towards her. after seeing him last night, formal and buttoned-up, it was comforting to see him in his usual uniform: flannel jacket, scuffed sneakers, wrinkled t-shirt. comforting, she thought, to see him at all. her stomach emerged from its cocoon, wings violent against the inside of her skin. she lifted her hand in a wave.

“hey,” she said. 

luke’s hands were in his pockets and he nodded at her. “thanks for showing up.”

“of course.” her voice softened without her meaning it to. “hey, i heard about that accident you were in a couple months ago. i’m glad you were okay.”

luke smiled and the sight alone was enough to melt some of the ice in the spot of her heart that had previously been filled up by him.

“just a few scrapes,” he said. “nothing i couldn’t handle. but... nah, nevermind.”

“no, tell me,” julie said. she stepped closer to him, the familiar magnetic pull tugging at her sweater.

“when i crashed, the thing running through my mind was you.” he ran his hand through his hair, put it back in his pocket. “just thought, ya know, if it’d been any worse, maybe i never would have been able to see you again... never get a chance to apologize, i guess.”

“don’t worry about that,” she said. she started to reach her hand out towards luke, pulled it back against her body. “you’re here now, right?”

“yeah,” luke exhaled. “yeah, you’re right. i’m just so fucking sorry, jules. it took me too long to realize that you were right.”

“about what?” julie asked.

“about everything. i was too tied up in the past and in myself. you were my girlfriend and the star of our band and i took all of it for granted. luke and reggie, they gave me a hell of a wake-up call and, even then, it took me too long to admit that i let everything fall apart because of some grudge.”

julie didn’t hold back again, reached out and pulled luke’s hand out of his pocket, held it in hers. his eyes were full of sadness and, julie knew, honesty. she had known him long enough to believe that, even when he was focused on nothing but himself, he was nothing if not genuine.

“i’m glad you can admit that now,” she said. “i wasn’t perfect either, luke. i should have talked to you about it, instead i just pushed it aside and waited until, well… until it was too much to take anymore. we were partners in more way than one, but we got too comfortable in that and stopped working on making it better.”

“i hope you can forgive me,” luke said. his hand was trembling in hers.

“i meant what i said last night, about you showing me what loving someone meant. and i have never stopped loving you. of course i forgive you. it was my choice to leave the band and i’m sorry that that put you guys in a rough spot. i miss playing music with you every single day. but i’ve always believed in second chances.”

julie let go of luke’s hand, stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. she felt a weight lifting off of his shoulders at the contact.

“haven’t you?” she asked.

*

the julie and the phantoms comeback-slash-reunion tour was in the midst of its opening show. both julie’s team and sunset curve’s team had gotten together to work off of their existing schedules and turn it into the band’s production. in the four months since julie and luke had talked, they’d realized that the only place they both wanted to be was with each other, making music and seeing their dreams play out in front of them (julie showed have known hers would always include luke). after multiple conversations with alex and reggie, and more than multiple calls and meetings with their management, the band was back.

“before we play this next one,” luke said. “i just want to say a few words about the person who is the reason we’re all standing up here tonight.”

julie looked over at luke from where she sat at her piano, eyes wide, questioning. alex and reggie were both turned towards _her_ , smiling. the crowd was as loud as she’d heard them all night.

“me and the guys got an award a while ago and i forgot to thank julie molina.” he turned towards her and winked. “if it wasn’t for her, julie and the phantoms would be, well, a ghost. the band would have been long gone. she opened her arms to me, literally, when i finally was strong enough to say that i messed up, and she’s the reason we’re on this stage again tonight.”

the crowd got louder, if that was even possible, and julie felt her cheeks warm even more than they had from the lights. luke was smiling at her, and reggie was making kissy faces towards alex, clearly ready to get back to the music. 

“i’ve loved you since the day we met, jules, and i have never been more happy that you believe in second chances. thank you for trusting me to give this whole thing, to give _us_ , another ride.”

julie giggled into her microphone, the sound amplified and echoing, the first notes to the melody of her new favorite song.

“are you guys done?” reggie asked, the crowd laughing. “or do you want to just toss the rest of the setlist and talk the rest of the show?”

“thanks, luke,” julie said. “there’s no one else i’d rather do this with.” 

luke nodded at her, played a few notes and let them fade into nothing before speaking again. “this one’s called ‘bright.’”

later, after the audience had left and the gear had been packed away, julie was in her dressing room. 

“hey, you decent?” she heard, along with a couple of raps on the door. luke’s voice was raspy from the show. 

“yeah, come in,” she said, rolling her eyes. luke opened the door, peeked his head around it.

“jules, think fast!” a small box was flying through the air towards her. she threw her hands up in the nick of time and caught it, her hair blowing back from the breeze she created.

luke stepped into the room and walked over to her, smile plastered on his face. “great show, right? you killed it, seriously. the extra flourishes you added to ‘finally free’ were _amazing_.”

“thanks, luke,” she said. “and thanks for noticing. making progress, huh?”

he kicked his toe at the floor, cheeks blushing under the shag of his hair. “are you gonna open it or what?”

she flipped open the box’s lid. inside was a costume ring, big and flashy and entirely unconvincing. a memory played in julie’s head, all heat and happiness and blinding lights. 

“is this… ?” she trailed off.

“yeah,” luke said, bouncing on his toes. “it is. i went up there the day after the los feliz thing… decided i wanted to make things right and thought about how you wanted this forever ago. i’ve already apologized for so much, didn’t want have to add on another one for not winning you an arcade ring, right?”

julie smiled, took it out of the box and put it on her finger. “i love it, luke,” she said. “and i love you, and i love our band, and i love being back here with you guys.”

“ditto, jules,” luke said. he closed the distance between them. “but i think we’ve done enough talking lately to last us a while, don’t you?”

when he kissed her, for the second first time, the touch of his lips was like one final apology, and the electricity of his hand on the back of her neck was every unspoken appreciation sinking into her skin, running into her veins, a silent promise of _i see you_.


End file.
